.png) LONGER WRITINGS |
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11/10/25 (5:55pm)
aHA! guess who has two thumbs and finally remembered to post on here while i'm actually in a PLEASANT MOOD??
(me, of course. who else?)
no longer completely shitting myself over PhD apps as i feel like i still have a direction in hand and my spreadsheet is well-populated. the main two things i have yet to do are 1. message my recommenders again, and 2. send out those blasted cold emails to faculty. I've given myself until friday. i must give credit to the iron-fisted organizational skills of my mother, who i have taken to calling near-daily so she can pester me into doing what i need to do.
anyway, im "working" at a coffeeshop now, and just had a delicious iced vanilla latte and a toast with a mysterious but delicious mushroom patee (pate? paté? who knows). till next time!
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11/6/25 (2:53am)
oh hello again. time sure does fly.
im supposed to be working on research for a meeting i have tomorrow morning. ive decided to harken back to the good old days of undergrad (you graduated this past may, stop trying to seem old and wizened) and pull a complete all-nighter. surely there will be no consequences to this.
it seems i've blinked and it's november. i return home on the 28th. i really need to get shit done-- i have nary a spreadsheet to my name in terms of grad applications. i need to send out my emails to potential advisors this weekend and catch up with my recommenders.
other than that i'm okay. i'm settled. socialization is somewhat minimal but it is genuinely not much of a bother for me. it is a bit surreal that i am leaving at the end of this month. i feel weirdly hesitant to return to the states. like im not finished yet. probably once i get more done for my applications i will feel more closure.
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9/29/25 (4:04pm)
it seems i only remember to update this when i'm feeling strangely.
well, i suppose I should begin with a more pleasant update than last time. i do think i am beginning to settle in, but much has happened in the four weeks i've been here.
the weekend after my last update, my dad ended up having to go to the hospital for over a week.
i spent every day going to the university to pick at my research, then heading straight for the health clinic, leaving mainly to sleep in my apartment. it was a rough week but now it's over and my dad is thankfully just fine. after that week was the fiestas patrias here in chile (essentially independence week) and i was able to celebrate with my family, and had even made some friends by that point. at the end of the week, my phone was stolen though, and i got so stressed out that everything caught up to me and i immediately got sick. LOL! i hope apollo got a good laugh.
anyway, the following days were pretty unremarkable and thus a welcome respite. my largest stressor is of course grad school, and taking the GRE physics now in under a month. if i can lock in, things will be fine, but im feeling unconfident in myself as of right this moment.
i do think my current bout of mild dread has little to do with my actual circumstances and much to do with the absurd quantites of caffiene i've consumed in the last 24hrs. it's nothing but water from here on out. anyway, tonight i've promised myself to actually make dinner, so maybe i'll post a picture of it here.
ciao pescado.
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9/04/25 (11:22am)
i arrived in Chile this past Sunday morning, so i've been here for around 5 days so far. i've already started my research but if im honest i dont know if i know what im doing.
becoming more or less bilingual in the span of two months has given me a weird relationship with speaking spanish. even though ive had really good interactions with people, i cant help but feel clumsy.
i havent been able to meet any of the other exchange students because im a little afraid of them. ive had group lunch with some of the other researchers here, which went well i think. but im just a little... i dont know.
i wanted to be able to write about how well things are going and how great it feels to be somewhere new but familiar, since most of my family is here after all, but i wouldnt be honest if i wrote about that. i feel
a little isolated, discouraged with my language skills, and out of my depth. i know it will get better in the coming weeks but right now things are a little shaky. im kicking myself for how shy i can be even when doing someithing as
crazy as starting a whole new semester-long research project thousands of miles from where i grew up, all in my second language, and all while applying to PhDs. it's odd how juvenile i feel. maybe it's just because my dad is here with me
for these first three weeks. i dont know.
anyway, that's the long-winded update for today. cheers to being on the up and up.
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8/8/25
UPD8!!!
okay. a lot has happened since i last updated this. it's just enough of a hassle to justify me literally never posting. i vow to improve my diligence posthaste.
im in costa rica! im here for a language learning program to finally cease to be a no sabo kid. since im heading to chile in less than a month, i needed to improve my spanish. if not for my sake, for the sake of my poor family who otherwise would be forced to endure my crimes agains verb conjugation. i'm pleased to report that the progam worked! ya se. nunca mas no sabo. you get it. have some pictures.
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5/23/25
I GRADUATED YESTERDAY!
here i am walking the stage and shaking the university president's hand:
and this is my cap i painted! it's supposed to be the harmony of the spheres model, because it combines my interest in classical studies, physics (it is my degree after all), and tangentially, music!
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5/20/25 (12:53 AM)
graduating in 2 days! home with my parents, plus my aunt and uncle are here from the PNW. tired but mostly contented. need to figure out how to run the code i wrote to get the fisher matrices and SNR for the BBH mergers catalogs since it's been like a month since i touched any of it.... but im sleepy so im going to bed.
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5/12/25
first full free day of life as a bachelor of science and i've used it to go around to all my favorite coffee shops in farther off parts of the city that i dont usually have time to go to. excellent nosh all around. had a chicken caprese sandwich finely crafted by the gods themselves (cafe employee who is stunningly good at making chicken caprese sandwiches) and inhaled it. been spending most of the day editing this site and it's been a blast.
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5/11/25
had work at the planetarium today and it was soooo nice outside :-) i got to enjoy walking around afterwards and soaking up the sunshine
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5/11/25 (12:34am)
last night at 11:59 pm EST, i turned in the last assignment i'll ever turn in as an undergraduate student. and i have strange feelings about it, i think.
i am definitely excited, but obviously there's that characteristic bittersweet feeling that comes from being in a transitional period. sigh. it all happens so fast!
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